Stung In The Jollibee

I’m sorry, faithful readers; I’ve been involved with other things and have been neglecting my blog… and you. I’m still working on “Let’s Get Physical: Part Two” and will have it on the blog soon. But I just I had to offer this true tale to you now, however, before the details slipped my mind.
Here’s a story of warning and a knock on your funny-bone at the same time. It happened just today: 08-09-05. It should provide an important lesson to all you guys who’ve fallen in lust, uh, love with your Filipina over the Internet, by mail or phone, and are in a big hurry to get your Filipina into your life and into your bed, and so have convinced yourselves that your Honey Ko is wonderful and honest and true. Chances are at least 50/50 that you’re not getting the girl of your dreams you think you are.

What is a Jollibee?
Jollibee is the franchise name of a Pinoy fast-food store like McDonald’s, offering hamburgers, fries, chicken, and pig: mostly things with rice and soy sauce added.

Celine’s 17-year-old, 5-month pregnant sister, Rebecca, came down from the mountains yesterday to go to the local provincial hospital for a check-up and tests. She spent the night with us, and this morning Celine accompanied her to the hospital as her companion. Remember ‘companions’ from earlier writings?
They saw a friend who was a patient at the hospital. She asked Rebecca to go to the Jollibee and buy her a couple pieces of Chicken Joy, and bring it back to the hospital for her to eat. Rebecca had never been in a Jollibee – or any other fast-food place – before and asked Celine to go along because Rebecca didn’t think she would know how to order the food and was afraid to try. I had taken Celine to Jollibee once before so she could learn what crap the food was, and eliminate any desire to eat American-style fatty-foods. It worked, as we’ve never been back. We eat mostly vegetarian-style.

A Love Story: Short May It Last

Celine told me the story this way, translated from Taglish (Tagalog/English) so you will understand it:
“When we got to the Jollibee the restaurant was almost full – mostly with college students. Rebecca and I ordered our friend’s food, and we both bought a glass of pineapple juice to drink while we sat at a table to wait for the to-go food to be brought to us. While we were sitting there I noticed a group of eight or more people gathered together only a few feet from us and just in front of our table. My attention was drawn by them because of the loud laughter and the American English being spoken by the one foreigner in the group. I first noticed that the table was overflowing with food, and I then saw that one of the women was sneaking a sizeable amount of food into her large purse when she thought no one was looking. The American man was ordering still more food and encouraging the others to order more, also. So why was that woman stealing his food, I wondered? I pointed it out to Rebecca, and we were both curious as to what was going on, so we watched the party.
“Shortly, another woman entered the Jollybee, saw the group and went over to them. The woman apologized for missing the wedding, and learning where they were, came to congratulate the bride and groom on their marriage that was performed only hours before by a judge at the City Hall. It became obvious to me that the American man had just married one of the Filipina’s present. But which one? I wondered which one might be his wife because, on one side of the man was a Filipino man, and on the other side of him was a woman who was being touched on her waist and butt in a very intimate way by a Filipino seated on her other side. Surreptitiously, the Pinoy was rubbing his hand up and down on the new bride’s ‘pwit ‘(ass). It’s not something one would expect a new bride to allow from someone other than the groom.
“The woman who just arrived was giving her attention to the woman at the foreigner’s side and it was apparent that she was in fact the man’s new bride. So why, I wondered with disgust, was she allowing that Pinoy to touch her in that way?
“I turned to Rebecca and asked her, “”Do you see what that man’s doing?”” Rebecca nodded that she also had seen. We became aware at that time that the students at the tables on each side of us were also watching what the Pinoy man was doing, and were quietly discussing it.
“I was becoming more and more disgusted and upset with that woman, as I realized that she was obviously marrying that man for his money and, to add insult to injury, she had even brought her boyfriend along to the wedding and then to the meal. How low and shameful can this woman be, I thought to myself? That poor man; he was so happy with his new bride – only married for a few hours and already being humiliated and mistreated by his Filipina. I felt so sorry for that man – and was so angry with her!
“I decided it was none of my business. But I just couldn’t stand to see her shame all of we Filipina’s with such horrible behavior. Before I knew I was making a sound I suddenly heard myself saying “”Yuck!”” out loud.
““This woman, she just let that man touch her pwit. And she just got married today. Her husband is right in front of her.””

The man and woman heard what Celine and turned around and said to her, in Tagalog, “What do you care? We’re all Filipino’s; we need to protect each other. He’s a just a foreigner.”
“Yeah, I know he’s a foreigner,” replied Celine, also in Tagalog, “but he’s still a human; he’s not an animal. Maybe you’re an animal, not a human, because you do that right in front of him. He’s treating you good. And that’s the way you repay him?
The American man could tell that the words being spoken between Celine and the bride and her boyfriend were words of anger. He also recognized the word ‘animal,’ which is the same though with emphasis on different syllables. He asked his new bride, “What’s she saying? Why’s she so angry? Why is she calling that man an animal? Does she know you?” He looked at Celine.
Celine told him, “Ask to them why that man is touching the pwit of that woman, your new wife. I overheard that you just got married to her today, and yet she’s allowing that man there to touch her butt in a very intimate way.”
The American man looked to his wife: “Who is that woman (Celine), and who did you say that man is? “
The woman said “I don’t know who this woman is, but maybe she’s just jealous because she heard that we’re just married. Maybe she’s just trying to steal you away from me.”
Celine spoke indignantly, “I don’t need to steal your husband away from you. I have my own husband, and he’s also an American man.”
The American man, suspicion rising within him spoke more forcefully to his new bride. Pointing to the boyfriend: “Who is he again?”
The bride was nervous and said, “He’s my boyfr… he’s my cousin.” Oops!
A boy of about 10-years of age, who was part of the group, spoke proudly - wanting to show off his English speaking skills, “It’s her boyfriend. He’s always in our house.” The blushing bride gave the boy a sharp look get him to shut his mouth. But it was too late, and now the new husband was all too aware that he had been chosen to play the fool in his new bride’s charade.
The American man jumped up and grabbed his bride by her upper arm, clamping down hard, and pulled her up out of the chair. “Come with me - let’s talk,” he snapped, and forcefully dragged her towards the bathroom.
“Please don’t pull me. I’m just going to follow you,” gasped the embarrassed and frightened bride.
Once in the bathroom with the door closed loud shouting accompanied by a female voice pleading emanated out to the eating area. The bride could be heard repeating , “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
The whole restaurant could hear the argument, and naturally everyone was highly interested and speculating whether the woman would be beaten – perhaps even killed – which the woman would have certainly deserved.
The manager was concerned, and sent the guard to the bathroom door. He knocked and said, “Sir, will you open the door?”
The American replied, “Just stay away; I’m not going to kill this woman.”
The guard said, “Please, sir, just don’t make loud noises.”
Meanwhile, Celine and Rebecca were still sitting at their table.
The brides’ mother was enraged at Celine and said to her, “Why did you tell that to the foreigner? Why do you care?”
“Of course I care,” retorted Celine. “I have a foreign husband, too. I’d never do something like that to him. That husband of your daughter doesn’t deserve to be treated like that by her. That’s why lots of foreigner’s, after they get married to a Filipina, they say that Filipina’s are bitches or are crazy. That’s not what your daughter should do to him. He’d give her a good life, be kind to her, take care of her, and feed her. Why should she behave so badly to him?”
The brides’ mother snapped, “If that man separates from my daughter, you’ll ruin the life of my daughter.”
Celine looked at her. “I’m not the one to ruin her life. You, and her, are the cause of her ruin - because you know that boyfriend was touching her pwit. You saw her. I saw you looking and seeing while that man was touching her. You know that that man is her boyfriend. What kind of a mother are you that it’s all right for you that the boyfriend touches her pwit in front of her new husband?
“What do you care? If they separate, I’m going to curse you that you’ll suffer,” hissed the mother.
Celine laughed at the mother. “Be careful who you’re cursing. Make sure that it’s me, and not you, old woman”
The mother remained irate. “You didn’t need to tell that in front of the husband.”
“Why not? You’re right there. You’re the mother. That’s your new son-in-law. Why didn’t you tell to the boyfriend not to touch the pwit of your daughter; that he had no right to touch her pwit. She’s married now.”
A woman in her late forties, who was sitting and observing the argument at another table, spoke up. “If that’s my daughter, I’m gonna smack that daughter in front of the foreigner. How could you sit there like that and do nothing? You know that daughter is cheating in front of that foreigner. You should be protecting him”
The mother of the bride sat silently embarrassed and humiliated while everyone in the room looked at her. Most of the customers – the students most loudly of all - were saying things such as, “Oh, my God, I can’t imagine what that woman did. Maybe she’s a whore or a prostitute – why she’d do that in front of the husband.”
The mother-in-law couldn’t stand it any longer. “I’m gonna go from here.” She got up and left the restaurant.
The rest of the family and friends sat at the table looking around at the people looking at them and talking about what kind of no-good people they must be. The humiliation was just too much for them to bear, and they hung their heads.
Now, another older female customer spoke up, addressing Celine. “Better you have the courage to tell that man what you saw. Maybe that man is going to divorce her.”
Celine answered, “I could not stand just watching and doing nothing. I’m thinking that, “Oooh, one day that husband is going to learn what that wife is doing. It’s just in my thoughts. But then my mouth could not shut-up.”
All the people in the Jollibee laughed at that while adding their own vocal thoughts such as, “What kind of a woman is that bride? What kind of mother let’s her daughter behave so badly?”
Celine and Rebecca sat listening to the yelling from the bathroom a while longer. The party members sat quietly, embarrassed, heads still bent down and looking at the table. Then, one by one, they got up and left the Jollibee. The only one who stayed was the boyfriend – no doubt to protect his girlfriend from her husband, or perhaps to escort her home if the man threw her away.
Celine and Rebecca decided to leave before the man and woman came out of the bathroom. Celine said she didn’t want to see the face of that woman when she came out, because she knew when the bride emerged, everyone in that Jollibee would become deathly quiet and stare at her with a soft background noise of chika-chika (gossip).
When they were outside, Rebecca said, “I wanted to stay and to know what’s going on in the bathroom. And I want to see her face when she comes out. I want to see, also, what that woman would do to you if we were still there.”
Celine told Rebecca, “I don’t want trouble and I don’t want attention from the other people looking at me. You know if we wait here that woman is just going to want to fight with me. I don’t want trouble.” They went back to the hospital to give the take-out food to their friend.

What you, the reader, should understand clearly is what happened to the American in the story wasn’t an isolated or unique event. That scene is played-out most everyday somewhere in the Philippines. It could well be you being prepared by your Honey Ko to be the next victim of the same scam, as I write this. This story should open your eyes and, I hope, make you think before you leap blindly into a quick marriage.
There are plenty of private detectives all over the Philippines, and the charge very little for their services. I recommend to you that you avail yourself of a detective’s services before you come here to meet your Filipina girlfriend. If you find out she has a boyfriend or husband, or is just running a scam of some other sort on you, you’ll spend far, far less money on the detective than it would cost you to fly over here and pay for food and lodging and the expenses of ‘treating’ Honey Ko and her family.
You just cannot be too careful. There are more scams than you can possibly think of being run by some very crafty Filipina’s. Be smart… be careful… then be happy.

There will virtually never be a person like Celine to step in and save you. What Celine did took real courage and guts. It certainly wasn’t the typical reaction of a Pinay to go against another Pinay. Although many other women and girls saw and understood what that family was doing to that poor American man, not one of them besides Celine would have said one word to help the American. It was only Celine’s outrage and her speaking-out as she did that gave the others courage to join-in.
I can’t begin to tell you how fortunate I am to have such a fine Filipina woman not only protecting me, but other foreigner’s, as well. I like to think it’s because of the Buddhist morals and philosophy I have been teaching to Celine that has been a contributing factor in her current behavior and character. Perhaps, maybe, but I think it has to do with her father’s teachings, as well, which were unorthodox from typical Pinoy culture. And then, it also has to do with Celine true inner-nature. Maybe it’s a combination of all those things.
For me - I don’t steal, cheat, rarely lie and highly value honesty, and I won’t tolerate that behavior in others. I’ve taught Celine continuously through stories and actions that there is a higher way to live – with respect for self and others. She’s either an excellent student or she’s uncommonly intuitive. Whatever it is, I am reaping the wonderful benefits of her beautiful character and personality.
Rik